No Matter What the Future Holds, We Have God

Life doesn't always turn out the way we want, but that's not necessarily a bad thing.  It took me a long time to realize that.  Being such an imaginative person, I've always had a tendency to let my imagination rule my future.  What I mean by that is I would plan out my future in these elaborate ways, and in doing so, I was never quite content with where my future fell.  When my imagined future became my real life present, I would always find myself in the midst of disappointment.  The crazy thing, though, is that my imagined future was never as great as the future that God had planned for me, but still, I was not happy with it.  I simply refused to accept what God had planned because I wanted what I wanted, nothing more and nothing less.  Pretty selfish, huh?

Well, through time and a great deal of maturity, I've started to see how letting go of those selfish expectations and future imaginings can lead into a life of adventure and true thankfulness.  I'm sitting here right now, nowhere close to the place I thought I'd be at my age, and I'm thankful for that.  I'm thankful for the route my life has taken to get me from the person I used to be to the person I am today.  I'm thankful for the future that God planned for me so long ago and the future He continues to plan for my life.  But, I'm also thankful for my present, something that is very easy to lose sight of when one obsesses over the future inside of one's own imagination.

Last year, around this time, I had surgery on my ankle, and I hated it.  I hated being still.  I hated being trapped, feeling trapped.  I hated not being able to run, to compete, to be in the middle of everything going on.  I hated being such a hassle for everyone.  I hated feeling weak, and I hated losing my ability to be independent.  But, God smoothed out a lot of the rough edges in my heart during that timeframe.  He taught me just how independent I was, even in terms of my faith.  I was planning out my life, claiming I wanted God to be the biggest part of me, yet I was refusing Him a place in my planning process.  My life was void of faith and totally about my own works.  Through that time, I began to refocus.  I let go of my own hopes and dreams, and I started hoping and dreaming with God.  I started living in the present and trusting that God was enough for me in each and every moment.  No matter what the future brought, I had God, and nothing else mattered.

Of course, as my life became more normal again, my independent nature returned, and I found my old imagined goals and dreams resurfacing.  Pride and selfishness started to creep back into my heart, and I found myself wanting once again what I wanted, nothing more and nothing less, whether or not that was what God wanted for me.  My present began to grow clouded by my imagined future successes.  My full focus went from glorifying God in all things to figuring out how I could become more popular and successful as a writer.  It went from pouring God's love into other people to seeing how fast I could get back into marathoning.  Don't get me wrong.  I do believe that God has placed the desires for writing and running in my heart, but apart from him, those two things are meaningless.  I have no purpose as a writer the moment I forget the One who wrote my own life story.  I have no purpose as a runner the moment I forget the One who runs before me, beside me and behind me.

More and more, I'm learning that perfection and achieving goals are not the sources of my greatest testimony.  My greatest testimony comes in the moments of my greatest weaknesses, the moments where I literally have nothing to cling to but God.  The moments that don't make sense in my human understanding.  The injuries, the losses, the tragedies, the pains, the sicknesses, the stories of despair.  Those are the moments where I let go and surrender with all that I am to God because those are the moments in which I know I cannot do this life on my own.

So, sure, in my imaginative planning for my life, I would not have planned out a second ankle surgery.  I would not have planned out a lot of things.  But, I know that God's plans for my life far surpass my own.  I also know that God said, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  So like Paul, my response to whatever trials come my way is this: "Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  For the sake of Christ then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities.  For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Corinthians 12:7)

But also, in my imaginative planning for my life, I would not have been able to plan out all the incredibly overwhelming blessings and gifts that God has given to me.  When I take a moment to stop and count my blessings, I realize that it would take all of eternity for me to thank God for all that He's done for me, and I realize that my greatest testimony does not come in my moments of weakness alone; it also comes in my moments of thanksgiving.  It comes in all the moments in which my sight is on God, not me.

I say all of this as an encouragement to you, reader.  We tend to fear the unknown because we like to know all the answers, which is why it's so easy for us to plan out our own futures and neglect God in the process of that.  But, what do we really have to fear in the future?  Why do we really need to mentally plan it all out and feel disappointed when things don't go our way?  No matter what the future brings, no matter what hardships or great blessings come our way, the future will be good because no matter what the future holds, we have God.  That in itself is enough to be thankful for every single day of our lives.  But even then, God gives us so much more than just Himself.  He surrounds us with blessings, day in and day out.  In the midst of our hardest times, if we just looked around, we'd see that He's constantly showering us with many great things.  In the midst of our greatest moments, if we just looked up, we'd see that our Heavenly Father loves us so much more than we could ever imagine.

Maybe your life isn't turning out the way you want.  Maybe your plans are constantly be trampled upon.  Maybe your like I used to be, where you get disappointed when your plans turn out different from what you expect (even if they're better than what you expected).  But maybe, just maybe, there are plans so much bigger than those plans that you've made for yourself.  Maybe there's an adventure waiting at your door, and all you have to do is wake up and step into that adventure, knowing that every step of the way, you have a loving Father's hand to hold.  That's where a life of true thanksgiving begins despite the surrounding circumstances; that's the abundant life we were called to.