Life Away from Social Media

I have been thoroughly enjoying my time away from social media. Not only am I getting things done I didn't realize I had time to do, but also I'm starting to feel more comfortable in my own skin. I'm not constantly critiquing every little thing about my life. I'm not constantly unfocused on the people in front of me. I'm actually present. I'm actually experiencing life and realizing how blessed I am.

New Agent (Pending)

While away from social media, I found out that my literary agent was fired. I was crushed because my manuscript had just been sent out to editors. I figured those submissions would be cancelled, and I'd be sent back to the beginning of the publication process. I kind of felt like giving up.

Thankfully, that's not what's going to happen. I will be represented by another agent at the agency and my submissions will be continued. I don't know who my new agent will be, but I am glad things are still moving forward.

New Skill

Today, Joel taught me how to use our espresso machine. I learned a lot about myself as I disappointedly dumped my first attempt of a latte down the drain, and Joel asked, "Do you want to try again?" Half of me wanted to say yes immediately. The other half of me hesitated. Why would I try again when I had clearly failed? It wouldn't be right to waste coffee for a second failed attempt, would it?

In the end, the yes won out. After all, this is my year of trying new things. This is my year of learning new skills. If every time I tried something new I gave up after one failed attempt, I'd never learn anything.

As I sipped on my second latte (still not as good as the lattes Joel makes), I realized that a lifetime of striving toward perfection has crippled me. I stick with the handful of things I know I'm good at, and I miss out on the rest. But the only reason I have the skill set I have now is because I wasn't afraid to try new things as a kid. I tried everything, I committed to the things I liked most, and I learned to be good at those things by failing many times along the way. Learning requires failure, and that's okay.

Baby Steps

Book of the Month

I've completed one book so far this month: A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini.  From the moment I started the book, I could hardly put it down.  I was kind of surprised about that because the book doesn't fall in the typical genre I read.  Honestly, I probably wouldn't have read it if it hadn't been gifted to me several years back.  I know, I know.  I should've read it a long time ago, but I overlooked it as I grabbed a Harry Potter book yet again.

There's anything wrong with reading Harry Potter an infinite amount of times.  I won't lie and say I'm not currently reading the series.  I'm actually reading the books aloud to my five-month-old.  But I'm not counting any of them toward my one book per month.  I can't keep letting other good books collect dust because I am perpetually drawn to Harry Potter.  I'm already thankful for branching out because I would've missed out on a great story otherwise.

New Destination

Today I went to two new places: Bigfoot's Little Donuts and The Little Gym.  The donuts at Bigfoot's practically melted in our mouths.  Joel and I nearly finished both boxes of them.  Part of me wishes we had finished them because I could use another one right about now.  The other part of me is glad I stopped when I did because boy am I going to regret them when I get started on my cardio workout for the day.

The Little Gym was an absolute blast.  Emerson got to try so many new things: forward rolls, assisted walks across the balance beam, bounce time.  She even experienced bubbles for the first time.  She seemed to thoroughly enjoy everything with some slight mixed feelings about the bubbles.  She had her "Moses is about to lick me on the mouth" face whenever the bubbles floated toward her, but there was definitely a bit of awe and wonder mixed in.  I've come to really appreciate that aspect of her little personality.  Life is an amazing adventure to her.  She's constantly filled with wide-eyed curiosity, full-bellied laughter, and smiles that light up her entire body.  She has a true zeal for life, and I know she's only five months old, but it makes me want to be more like her.  Life is too short to be bored.  There is so much to be amazed by if we could just look up from our phones long enough to see it.

New Activity

Last night before bed I was thinking about my last blog entry.  I claimed blogging would be my new activity for the month of January.  I don't know why I made that claim because blogging is not a new thing for me.  I've dealt with blogs for years now.  Even though blogging is not a new thing for me, I'm going to stick with it for this month in hopes that it can resurrect my passion for writing.

2019

I have always been a very goal-oriented person.  If I make a New Year's resolution, I tend to stick with it.  This year, I want to do things a little differently.  Instead of choosing a list of things I want to fix or change about myself, I want to be more open.  Openness isn't really a measurable goal so I had to sit back and think for a while about how exactly I was going to accomplish that.  This is what I've come up with:

First, I plan to remove one thing from my life each month.  That can be a shirt I haven't worn in 5 years, the stack of books that no longer fits on my bookcase, or the time vaporizing act of scrolling through social media.  The older I get, the more I've realize that consumerism and popularity do not bring happiness.  Trying to keep up with others is an endless cycle that often leads to bitterness and frustration.  Trying to achieve goals without having a passion for those goals leads to burnout and exhaustion.  Both routes replace confidence with doubt and zeal with hollowness.  That's not the life I want to live.  For the month of January, I've decided to eliminate social media.  I look forward to relearning how to live where my feet are planted this month instead of constantly seeing what other people are doing (and sometimes envying them for the adventures they are having).

Second, I plan to spend each month committing to a specific activity.  I have a tendency to try something one time and then never do it again so I want to devote a full month to each activity I choose. For the month of January, I am going to blog.  I don't plan to blog for extra money. I don't plan to blog to teach others about a skill that I've learned.  I don't plan to blog because I want others' attention.  I am blogging for me.  I am blogging because I enjoy writing.  I enjoy looking back at old posts and seeing how much I've changed over time and what lessons I have learned or am continuing to learn.

Third, I plan to learn a new skill.  Some months, the skill I learn will correlate with the activity I commit to.  Other months, the skill may be something as simple as learning how to start a fire.  I have always wanted to learn survival skills, but I have always let others take care of me while camping or backpacking.  This year, I want to change that.  I want to be able to help on camping trips.  I also desire to learn a few signs in sign language to use with Emerson.  I'd like to learn how to help with house projects and how to do more DIY projects.  Typically I get overwhelmed by all the skills I want to learn.  But this year, by spreading them out through the months, I have the ability to learn at least 12 new skills, which is very exciting!
 
Fourth, I plan to read a book each month.  I used to read regularly, but that was before social media.  Because I let it, social media shortened my attention span and stole all my time.  I found it a lot harder to focus on books.  I kept wanting to stop reading so I could see what was happening on the internet.  But honestly, I was happier when I spent my free time reading.  I want to get back to the adventures that reading provides.  I have a feeling I will end up reading more than one book a month, but you've got to start somewhere, right?

Fifth, I plan to go to a new destination each month.  Some months this will mean a vacation to a place I've never been.  For example, in January, we are going to Oahu for the first time.  Some months this will be a day trip a couple of hours away.  Some months this will be something as simple as going to a local place I've never taken the time to visit.

All that being said, this year should be a journey out of my comfort zone.  It will probably hold many moments of fear and hesitation, but I'm determined not to let fear and excuses hold me back from truly living any longer.  2019 will be a year for the books.  I'm sure of it.